Vacation

         Restless, I can't sleep.  I have run away to Texas for a while.  I ran away with the knowledge of that my problems will still be there when I return.  But I don't care.  I am sitting on a porch listening to nature, writing by the shaky light of a candle.  My problems are not here and they can wait.  I did not run in search of clarity for I knew I would not find it.  I did not run in hopes that I would return to changed circumstances for I knew my circumstances would wait for me.  I ran because I needed to run.  I have been at this long enough to know when and how far I need to run.  I do not expect to find some revelation that I have been missing.  What I have expected to find is peace.  I have found what little I can.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't expecting more.  But more hasn't come and that's the way it is.

        One thing I have found is that serenity comes with work, not laziness.  The moments of peace that have come, have come when sweat has been falling from my brow.  The times of rest and relaxation have been the times where I have remembered most what I have run from.  I just hope that in my run home I achieve the wisdom needed to deal with my circumstances.  that is all I really truly want.  Wisdom.  Maybe I'll find wisdom in Texas.  Huh or maybe the wind will blow out my shaking light.