The People Close To Us Have To Die, How Else Will We Know How Much They Mean To Us?

It was a bright sunny Thursday. The July heat just made me remember how I hated the winter. I found myself sitting in a church with a suit and tie on waiting to bury my Aunt. Death had knocked on my door again and this time it was far to soon.
Funerals are interesting things. People who you have never met come from long and far to pay respect to those who have lost. Funerals are full of hugs, tears, laughs, food, more tears, more hugs and then if God willing; sleep. As I sat in the front row of the church just an arms reach away from the body that carried my Aunts soul I saw love for what it really is. I saw it stripped of all its fancy and its frills. The only time this can happen, truly happen, is in death. I watched closely the face of my now widowered uncle. He had been married to my Aunt for many years. this once hardened mans man, this man that I only new as fierce business man, and independent of soul as I have ever met had completely crumbled. The loss of his wife had broken him into more pieces then he knew he had, and he gave no effort to try to place them back together. Between hugs and acceptance of deepest gratitude and condolences he could only smile. It was a smile that barely raised the corners of his mouth and was paired with as teary eyed as eyes can get without crying. I studied his face for the longest time. At the end of the service a slide show of he and my Aunts life together played across the large video screen. In the background of the slide show an Elvis Presley song softly played. The chorus sang "I can't help falling in love with you." I watched as my uncle mouthed the words over and over with the song as tears flew down his weathered cheeks. It was the first time I had ever seen my uncle cry. As I watched Him an emotion grew within me that I did not expect or plan for. ENVY! This was true love, shown only through loss, only through death, and I wanted it. I wanted to love someone so much that I just couldn't help falling in love with them. That a piece of me goes when they leave and that I am complete when they stay. It seams so rare to find.

I think that the scariest part about it is that my uncle didn't know he had it until the day she died.