Cursive,Print, and the Desire of Difference

Excerpt from the book on my night stand:






"I have noticed a pattern in these pages. Being an advocate for originality and spontaneity this is my attempt to break that pattern. I recently have read through the pages that I have written so far. I remembered everything about every page. I remember where I wrote it, what provoked it, whether wine caused it or pain. I even remember where the tears fell on many of the ink splattered pages. As I read along I noticed a dominating pattern. I only write when I feel like it. When something moves me it often times causes me to pick up a pen. There is a stirring of emotion that makes me feel that if I don't write down what is inside me it will destroy me or escape forever. I am not okay with either. This pattern disturbed me.

I am a man that wants to be unpredictable. I want to have no habits. I once did not eat for a week just to prove to myself that food did not even hold me under her boot. To prove that I did not have to eat like every one else. When I walk to class I don't take the sidewalk. I walk in the grass, the dirt, the mud. Dirty shoes mean you have been somewhere. It also reminded me of where I am going. If I follow the path everyone else follows then I tend to forget. Making my own path gives me a purpose. Where there are puddles I often walk through them as all the sorority girls tip toe around them in their rain boots. I don't think that I am special ore elite. I just want to be different. Which brings me back to the purpose of me writing. I want this time to be different from the others. If you flip through this book you will notice a sporadic compilation of cursive and print. Another attempt at being unpredictable. But every time I wrote it was because something manifested that response in me. This time is not so. I am sitting in a chair, donating blood, writing. Not because I have been stirred to write or want to write. Just writing because I want to be different. "


written many years ago, in a town of bloomington, by an ignorant pen. Nothing is new under the sun. Be careful.....difference may mascaraed as an evil creature.

- Mediocrity is a gift from God, but it is seen as a curse